Computer Humor: Just Watch the Pretty Lights

Okay, here's one that for the longest time I had taped up to the side of my monitor. I first came across this bit of prose back in the early 1980's. I kept it up until PCs became a common fixture in the workplace whereupon I consigned it to my humor file.

The original:


Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mitten grabben.

Ist easy schnappen der springen werk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.

Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.

Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

My translation:

Attention all you onlookers!

The computer is not for poking with your fingers or grabbing with your hands.

It is easy to snap the spring works, blow the fuses with popping sounds and spitting sparks everywhere.

It is not for use by dummies.

You rubberneckers and sightseers must keep your cotten-picken hands in your pockets; just relax and watch the blinking lights.

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